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Out There

Was it TAP or a chinese shop?

By 14 Outubro, 2016642 Comments

I’ve seen everything on board aircraft. I even remember the times in which half the passengers would gather in the back because there were no smoking seats for all, and the ones who didn’t get one would stand in the corridor getting a quick smoke.

I’m from the time when tvs would drop out of the roof – worrying us because we thought it was the oxygen masks – showing us the route the plane was flying, and which let us all knotted up because we’d keep the face tight and the neck rigid to check how long it would still take.

What I really didn’t expect was to hear instructions in Chinese on a TAP flight between Lisbon and Funchal.

Starting with how nice the cabin staff, one steward and three women, one of them Australian. This stated on the microphone. Dammit, where did the others come from? Viseu? Odemira? Why should I care that the girl came from Australia? Because this was all announced by the steward, when he introduced them all by name… a strategy used by EasyJet for years. No one seemed to care what my name was…

I wasn’t even seated yet when I started to hear Chinese. I even looked into the panel and the luggage bin to check whether it was mu single Chinese friend, but I decided this wasn’t where she was going to open a restaurant. After that I checked under my seat, but there was also nothing there.

I then thought it was for a tv show, but then I noticed that half the passengers were checking the overhead bins I realized it wasn’t another show. They were really speaking Chinese on a TAP flight. And suddenly, between being incredulous and wishing I had learned the language, I wondered whether I should quickly abandon the aircraft or if this was only the on board sales the airline has finally set up, a gimmick accompanying those low cost seats TAP has sworn it would never create.

Boarding on gate 25 on an airbridge was already quite an upgrade. Listening to instructions in Chinese (followed, I think in Portuguese and English) don’t guarantee I am safe. Because the thought did come to me, if it is a recording how do they translate the goodbye note of “You have just arrived at Madeira airport, it is now 19h22 and the temperature is 21 degrees”… Because I never really found out whether she was only telling me about the menu.

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